This “Popular” Feedback Technique Is Actually Destroying Trust
Most leaders want to give feedback that's honest and effective. But one of the worst management techniques—still taught in too many leadership workshops—is the COMPLIMENT SANDWICH.
You've seen it before:
"You're doing great work… but you really need to step it up… but I know you'll figure it out."
"You're a great team player… but your reports are always late… but we appreciate your dedication."
It's well-intentioned. Managers think they're softening the blow by cushioning criticism with praise. But in reality, they're doing the opposite: they're training employees to distrust compliments altogether.
Why the Compliment Sandwich Fails
Here's why: when you give someone a compliment right before criticism, their brain learns that praise is just a setup for bad news.
Over time, the moment employees hear "you're doing great," they brace for the inevitable "but." Compliments stop feeling genuine, and the criticism gets lost in the confusion.
How It Damages Employees' Trust
If you've ever been on the receiving end, you know how it feels. Instead of making criticism easier, the compliment sandwich makes you suspicious of every positive remark:
- "Are they only saying this because something bad is coming?"
- "Do they actually think I'm doing well, or is this just a trick?"
- "Should I ignore the praise and just wait for the criticism?"
The intent is kindness. The impact is distrust. Praise loses meaning, and criticism gets diluted to the point of uselessness.
The Right Way to Give Feedback
The fix is simple: keep compliments and criticism separate.
No "but." No mixed signals. Just honesty.
Why Employees Want Directness
Many managers soften feedback because they fear backlash. But research doesn't support that fear.
That's why one of the skills we teach in What Great Managers Do Differently is how to deliver feedback that's direct, motivating, and actually sparks improvement—without gimmicks like the compliment sandwich. Managers walk away with scripts and tools they can start using the very same day.
The Leadership Impact
Great leaders don't rely on gimmicks like the compliment sandwich. They respect employees enough to be clear:
- Compliments are given on their own, so they actually mean something.
- Criticism is delivered directly, so it's actually useful.
Because clarity is a form of kindness. And nothing undermines feedback faster than mixing the two.
And if you want to go deeper into the science of feedback, motivation, and engagement, join me in What Great Managers Do Differently—a 6-week online certificate program that's helped thousands of leaders unlock 100% performance without burnout, drama, or disengagement.
