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Most leaders want to give feedback that's honest and effective. But one of the worst management techniques—still taught in too many leadership workshops—is the COMPLIMENT SANDWICH.
You've seen it before:
"You're doing great work… but you really need to step it up… but I know you'll figure it out."
"You're a great team player… but your reports are always late… but we appreciate your dedication."
It's well-intentioned. Managers think they're softening the blow by cushioning criticism with praise. But in reality, they're doing the opposite: they're training employees to distrust compliments altogether.
Here's why: when you give someone a compliment right before criticism, their brain learns that praise is just a setup for bad news.
Over time, the moment employees hear "you're doing great," they brace for the inevitable "but." Compliments stop feeling genuine, and the criticism gets lost in the confusion.
If you've ever been on the receiving end, you know how it feels. Instead of making criticism easier, the compliment sandwich makes you suspicious of every positive remark:
The intent is kindness. The impact is distrust. Praise loses meaning, and criticism gets diluted to the point of uselessness.
The fix is simple: keep compliments and criticism separate.
No "but." No mixed signals. Just honesty.
Many managers soften feedback because they fear backlash. But research doesn't support that fear.
That's why one of the skills we teach in What Great Managers Do Differently is how to deliver feedback that's direct, motivating, and actually sparks improvement—without gimmicks like the compliment sandwich. Managers walk away with scripts and tools they can start using the very same day.
Great leaders don't rely on gimmicks like the compliment sandwich. They respect employees enough to be clear:
Because clarity is a form of kindness. And nothing undermines feedback faster than mixing the two.
And if you want to go deeper into the science of feedback, motivation, and engagement, join me in What Great Managers Do Differently—a 6-week online certificate program that's helped thousands of leaders unlock 100% performance without burnout, drama, or disengagement.
Transactional Analysis (TA) divides personality into three "ego states" -- Parent, Adult, and Child. In TA theory, the Parent ego state represents behaviors and attitudes we learned or copied from parental figures. This state can manifest as a Critical Parent (authoritative, scolding, or controlling) or a Nurturing Parent (caring, protective, and guiding). When someone operates from the Parent state, they often act out of past conditioning, using language of "should/shouldn't" and an authoritative tone.
Mentoring isn't just a nice-to-have workplace perk—it's a strategic powerhouse for developing leaders at every level. With 84% of Fortune 500 companies implementing formal mentoring programs, the evidence is clear: organizations that invest in mentoring see dramatic results, including 41-47% higher employee retention rates and promotion rates up to 6 times higher for participants. This comprehensive guide reveals the research-backed strategies, proven program designs, and real-world case studies from companies like Sun Microsystems, Randstad, and others who've transformed their leadership pipelines through effective mentoring. Whether you're designing your first mentoring initiative or refining an existing program, discover how to create the trust-based relationships, structured frameworks, and measurable outcomes that turn emerging talent into tomorrow's leaders—and why mentoring remains one of the most cost-effective investments in organizational growth.
Watch AI transform complex analysis into executive-ready insights at lightning speed
This first video shows how I generated the slides using AI, and wow, the slides are great and incredibly fast. Watch as complex analysis transforms into polished presentation materials that would normally take hours to create.
Now, how did I make the executive report? This second video shows one example of how I used ChatGPT (switching between models) to write the report. See the exact prompts and techniques that turn raw data into strategic insights.
If you think this is powerful stuff, you should really check out The AI-Powered Manager Course.
It starts next week!
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